How many calories do you burn jumping to conclusions?
- Tamara Kerr
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
How many calories do you burn jumping to conclusions? If the answer isn't "enough to help me get into my bikini this summer!" then it is not worth the impact on your mental health. Honestly, we should all be skinnier than a super model.
When we tell ourselves stories to make sense of the world, we often jump to thinking, "what is the worst and most personal way I can take this?" Then, armed with that guidance, we create poor mental scenarios that just cause us frustration and grief.
If I were to ask you calmly what is the ONLY way to know why a person is doing what they are doing, or saying what they are saying, your answer would be, "ask them!" See, you know this! But we tend not to ask because we think we already know why... they like to see us suffer, or they don't care or... you name it our minds can make it up.
We tell other people about our conclusions and when they agree with our assessment we look at the agreement as proof that our story is. in fact, true. We are then really sure we are right! What follows is us getting even more worked up about - basically a story that you made up out of thin air.
Why not try this instead: ask the other person for their perspective. Why are they doing what they are doing? How are they feeling about what is going on? What is their perspective? Ask calmly, respectfully and tactfully. Get curious about the behaviour instead of judging the person. This not only helps you balance the picture to help you feel better about what might be going on, but it helps you show up to the conversation in a way that establishes psychological safety.
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